Current:Home > StocksRelationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life -Infinite Edge Capital
Relationship experts say these common dating 'rules' are actually ruining your love life
View
Date:2025-04-13 22:58:27
Don't text back too soon, or you'll seem desperate. Don't wait too long to text, or they'll lose interest. And don't ever, ever send two text messages in a row.
There are a lot of rules people set for themselves when it comes to the early stages of dating, particularly in an era when dating apps have upended the norms of how most singles meet and mingle.
Many of these self-imposed regulations, however, can actually hinder your chances of finding a healthy romance, according to relationship experts.
"Relationships are contextual," says relationship therapist Kimberly Moffit. "You have to understand the context of your 'situationship' or relationship and use your instincts, as opposed to just always following rules."
Here are some common dating "don't's" that experts encourage daters to let go of:
'Don't text back too soon (or too late)'
Text anxiety has become a staple of online dating. "Am I writing too much? Too little? What if I respond too quickly, and they think I have no life?"
Yes, it's probably wise not to drop everything going on in your life to respond immediately. But you also don't have to feign being busy.
"In dating, someone's going to figure out who you are eventually," Moffit says. "If you're a naturally busy person and you have stuff going on, there's going to be times where you take a few hours to respond and then there's going to be other times where you're there and you get into more of a texting conversation."
Bottom line, she says: Respond when you have time and when it feels natural to do so.
Dating burnout is real:How to find love while protecting your mental health
'Don't date more than one person at a time'
How about: Don't put all your eggs in one basket instead. Celebrity matchmaker and online dating expert Carmelia Ray says there's no need to cut yourself off from other connections if you're still in the early stage of dating someone new, what she calls the courting process.
"It takes a while to get to know somebody, so if you're going to invest all your time in one relationship, and then it doesn't work out, then you're back to ground zero," she says. "It's OK to be hanging out with two or three people to see who is actually consistent, because after a while you'll really know somebody's true colors."
More:How to start a good conversation on a dating app. Online dating advice from relationship experts
'Don't compromise on (superficial) standards'
Moffit and Ray agree: Many daters are far too strict about the type of person they're willing to go out with, leading them to rule out great options over superficial standards like height, location, education level or occupation.
Moffit encourages people to stay open-mind about these things. After all, you could have great chemistry once you meet in person.
"It's a personal decision of course with dating, but I do feel like it just restricts people that if you met them in the wild, you might just really love them," she says, adding you learn more about your attraction to someone from sensory information, such as the way they talk and move, than from information on a dating profile.
More:Videos of long blue text messages show we don't know how to talk to each other
'Don't bring up politics or religion (or anything interesting) on the first date'
Politics, religion and other controversial topics tend to be viewed as off-limits for early dates; however, they're important issues that can reveal someone's values and spark interesting discussion.
Moffit says it's OK to share views that are important to you early in dating, as they can deepen your connection and inspire conversation beyond the typical, 'So, what do you do?' banter.
"People do say things like, 'Avoid politics. Avoid business. Avoid religion. Avoid existential conversations,' " Moffit says. "The best first dates have a lot of deep conversations. How else are you going to get to know somebody and connect if you can't talk about the things that matter to you?"
Plus, if any of these issues do prove to be deal-breakers, isn't it better to be upfront about them sooner rather than later?
"You might have to turn off 80% of people in order to really appeal to the 20% who are the fit," Moffit says.
Are you dating a narcissist?Watch out for these red flags.
veryGood! (141)
Related
- See you latte: Starbucks plans to cut 30% of its menu
- Tyler James Williams, Nikki Glaser, Eric André and more react to their Emmy nominations
- Dick Vitale details road ahead, prepares to battle cancer for fourth time
- Dick Vitale details road ahead, prepares to battle cancer for fourth time
- What to know about Tuesday’s US House primaries to replace Matt Gaetz and Mike Waltz
- 'Too Hot to Handle' Season 6: Release date, time, cast, where to watch new episodes
- Exiled Chinese tycoon Guo Wengui convicted in billion-dollar fraud scheme
- John Stamos Jokes Son Billy's Latest Traumatic Milestone Sent Him to Therapy
- Senate begins final push to expand Social Security benefits for millions of people
- Dick Vitale details road ahead, prepares to battle cancer for fourth time
Ranking
- North Carolina trustees approve Bill Belichick’s deal ahead of introductory news conference
- Shooting attack at Oman mosque leaves 6 people dead, dozens wounded
- Panama says migration through border with Colombia is down since President Mulino took office
- Wind power operations off Nantucket Island are suspended after turbine blade parts washed ashore
- Sonya Massey's father decries possible release of former deputy charged with her death
- Tyler James Williams, Nikki Glaser, Eric André and more react to their Emmy nominations
- Brad Pitt seeks dismissal of Angelina Jolie's request for messages about plane incident
- Why America's Next Top Model Alum Adrianne Curry Really Left Hollywood
Recommendation
New Mexico governor seeks funding to recycle fracking water, expand preschool, treat mental health
'I killed our baby': Arizona dad distracted by video games leaves daughter in hot car: Docs
Here Are the Irresistible Hidden Gems from Amazon Prime Day & They’re up to 90% Off
Forest fire at New Jersey military base 80% contained after overnight rain
Grammy nominee Teddy Swims on love, growth and embracing change
I went to NYC’s hottest singles run club. Here’s what it’s really like.
The Daily Money: Why women struggle with retirement saving
Internet-Famous Amazon Prime Day Deals That Are Totally Worth the Hype – and Start at Just $4